Large Passion Ice Tea, giant chocolate chip cookie.

That was my breakfast. The large passion ice tea is about the only thing I can afford at Starbucks, I splurged for the cookie.

Woke up at 7:40 AM. Too tired from staying up analyzing the DNC. Decided to call the office and inform them I'd be in at 10. What they don't know (yet) is that I will also be leaving early.

Next week she's back. Office mate and I are dreading it. Can't wait for my vacation.

Ah yes, best girlfriend might be visiting ME. Very excited. If she doesn't, I will have to trek my ass to Chicago, which I do not mind. I am trying to teach the girl to learn to trust her husband to 'babysit' the two boys while she is out of town.

Can someone intervene on my addiction to handbags and shoes?

I have no idear what I'm saying right now. I should start working.

Whaddya get when you stay up all night watching and analyzing the DNC, eating homemade Macaroni & Cheese?

You get a faded (but favorite)yellow long sleeve shirt, blue jeans, navy blue with red and light blue argyle socks, and gray sneakers, with brown belt-wearing, exhausted female.

I didn't realize what I put on this morning until L says to me, "What the hell are you wearing?"

Laptop and bags still in tow I look down at myself and think, "Well, I'm obviously staying in for lunch."

The worst part? I'm gassy and feel like I'm going to spontaneously combust from all the white cheddar cheese I ate.

emma-isms

I will admit, sometimes I butcher American slang. I think I inherited it from my mom.

"Will you quit walking around the bush?"

"I'm stuck between a rock and a hard spot."

I also don't know how to talk at times. Earlier today Catherine and I were talking about some show that promotes plastic surgery. I began to tell her about a story in a magazine where women have spent thousands of dollars trying to look like their favorite actress.

"This one woman wanted to have her lips look as big as Angelina Jolie's so she had her lips ejaculated with collagen....[silence] Wait a minute, that doesn't sound right...Ejaculated? Catherine, does that sound right? Ejaculated?"

[Loud Laughter]

"I mean injected. Where the hell did I get ejaculated from?"

Sheesh.

I just found out about THIS It really pissed me off.

Just for the record I am ProChoice but THIS is not the way to go.

9AM L and I surfed the net, drank coffee.

9:15 AM L and I tried to set up the television to watch the DNC. Didn't work.

9:30 AM I attempted to write a report.

10 AM L and I shopped on Victoria's Secret online.

10:30 AM I attempted to write a report.

11:30 AM L and I went onto Bluenile and built our pretend engagement rings. Mine cost a whopping 46,000. I won.

12:00 PM I attempted to write a report.

12:30 PM L and I verbally abused each other.

1:00 PM L and I walked to the cafe and grabbed lunch.

2:00 PM I attempted to write a report.

3:00 PM L and I verbally abused each other some more.

3:10 PM L made me crack her back by stepping on it. It was gross.

3:30 L went home and I was alone. I finally got my report done.

 
This is what happens when no one shows up at the office.

I've learned that I enjoy walking, though, not outdoors. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy the outdoors but there's something unappealing about walking uphill, unable to breath because a) you're fat lazy pig and b) it's hot and humid which doesn't help. And don't get me started about walking down hill. I didn't know you could get shin splints from doing just that. Playing soccer, yes. Walking downhill, no.

Back to what I was saying, I do enjoy walking...at the mall. I don't buy anything. I window shop. I make my round on the first floor, then head towards the first. It takes me about an hour cuz I do browse. It's air conditioned. Plus, I had to get my specs adjusted at Lenscrafters, but that didn't happen cuz:

 I walk towards the sign that says, "Adjustments." I take a seat. There are two technicians who are clearly just shooting the shit. I know they see me. I sit there thinking, "Hmmm. Maybe they aren't the ones that do the adjustments." A couple minutes later a woman walks in carrying a slip, apparently ready to pick up her glasses. One of the technicians walk out. He walks towards her first.

"What are you here for?" He asks me.

"An adjustment."

"Okay, well, she has an appointment so I have to help her first, though I know you got here first." He answers.

I'm thinkin' to myself, "Oh no he isn't gonna help her first."

"I'm sorry, buy if you knew I was here first, then how come you didn't come out to help me five minutes ago?"

He starts to stutter. I get up and walk out. "Effin jerk off." (I'm trying to stop cursing) I HATE being rude but I also HATE bad customer service. It's like, I spent a lot of money picking out these eyeglasses, they kissed my ass then. Now that I have to come back to get my glasses adjusted (which is in the contract), you could give a rats arse? Ninja please.

Anyway, it was a nice day today. Sunny and cool. Went to the market. Armstrong won. Baked chocolate chip cookies. Cleaned the kitchen. Did all the laundry. Oh, and I saw the movie, "Radio." Damn, that movie made me cry. If you don't know what it's about, Cuba Gooding Jr. plays a mentally retarded young man who is taken in by a football coach/athletic director/teacher. He was a nobody till "Coach Jones" found him. It was filled with so much compassion. I enjoyed it very much. I'm tearing up just typing about it. Friggen tards.