I'm drinking tea. Cream and a little sugar. Earlier I had made fried chicken for dinner and even earlier than that I had spent the most excruciating 8 hours at the office. How I find time to create a home cooked meal is beyond me.

Next week was suppose to be a happy week for me because she'll be on vacation...but then again the DNC is goin' on, too...and I have gotten the shit end of the stick because of it.

The weekend of the 4th I went to Chicago. Sean dropped me off at the bus station. I sat next to a very kind Indian man on the way to the airport. We talked about boats, lobsters, (as I was carrying a box filled with live lobsters and crabs) our jobs, and then...the DNC. He expressed his disdain as to why they chose such a small city to hold this convention. I concurred. First of all, 50 million was the price tag calculated to secure this place. Not the 1 mil. it was originally set at. Who's gonna pay for it? You? Me? No wonder the Big R got the boot on her car. She was goin' on four years of unpaid parking tickets and all of a sudden she gets the boot. Coincidence?

It's creating havoc amongst businesses who've encouraged their employees to either take a vacation or work from home [yeah right] and we might as well put this in the category of the Big Dig because again, WHO THE HELL IS GONNA PAY FOR THIS?!?

It's nice and all that they are spending alot of money and effort into securing this place...It's just too bad it wasn't done four years ago.

 

I thaw Athlee thimthon! I thaw Athlee Thimthon!!

Translated:

I saw Ashlee Simpson. I saw Ashlee Simpson.

& not only did that cute little 6 year old see Athlee Thimthon....I THAW HER TOO!! Along with 500 other screaming little girls.

I was the only 28 year old who voluntarily went to "Meet Ashlee Simpson." I wasn't chaperoning anyone under the age of fourteen, I wasn't just passing through the mall, window shopping (although I did leave with a new necklace, coin purse and flip flops and sneakers). I absolutely wanted to see Ashlee.

Got back to the office early yesterday, started doing some work when all of a sudden I hear on the stereo, "Meet Ashlee Simpson at [address deleted]." My pen, my jaw, dropped.

Rap Session with officemates:

"Oh my God. Did you just hear that?"

"Hear what."

"Ashlee Simpson is gonna be at [address deleted]."

"You're kidding right?"

"WHAT? I LOVE ASHLEE."

I start singing Pieces of Me.

"Emma, you are full of surprises, every day I learn something new from you."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH LIKING ASHLEE SIMPSON."

"Nothing, you're just the biggest loser I know."

"I am so gonna go see her tomorrow."

And so, I did. I made sure to bring my camera with me, left work at 5, got to [address deleted] within the hour of the Meet and Greet with Ashlee...elbowed my way through some little kids and picked a perfect spot on the balcony. I was mistaken for a magazine reporter. A little girl asked me if I worked for a Magazine [I blushed] and I said, "No, I'm here because I want to see Ashlee, too." She asked me if I could send her the pictures I took because she didn't have a camera. She gave me her older brothers email address.

I will admit, I was having second thoughts about going...I felt silly but I'm glad I went. I giggled when they introduced her and all you heard was a sea of little girls screaming...I tried to take as many still photos as I could but the kids kept bumping into me.

Ashlee Simpson is so pretty.

AGGGGGGGGGH!!

 

I'm itchin'. Itchin' rilly bad.
 
I'm not sure if it's the Nut Roll I ate (which tasted rilly good), or work, that's causing my hives. 
  
On one hand, I'm allergic to nuts, causing me to break out in hives. On the other hand, being under immense stress causes my hives, too.
 
I'm at the drive thru at KFC when BAM!
 
I start itchin beneath my jeans.
 
It started in one spot, which was fine but then it moved, drastically. All over my legs. It crossed the border to my face, and my arms.  I'm like, "Hi, I'd like a crispy chicken roll up." Itch. Itch. "And an extra crispy thigh." At this point, both my pant legs are rolled up to my knees revealing my argyle socks. I hand her a five dollar bill whilst clawing at my face.
 
I finally head back home, slide out of the Escape` with my pants rolled up to my knees, hand Sean his food, drop mine on the dining room table, run to the bedroom, and peel my jeans off of me. I'm scratching like hell screaming, "Ow..Ow...ow."
 
I can't call in sick. I can't be like, "I'm going to be a lil' bit late."
 
I just hope this doesn't happen to me while I'm at the prison. I can't be seen clawing at my ass.
 
 
 
 

We had decided to sit on the back porch, it was so warm in the living room. One of the first ones up, I decide to check on the cookies I had set out to cool in the pantry.
 
SQUIRRRRRREL!!!!!
 
"Emma are you sure it's not outside the window, and not inside?" Eleanor asks, very calmly...I almost believed that I must have been mistaken that I just had seen a squirrel in the pantry so I stepped back into the kitchen and took another peek.
 
"SQUIRRRRRRELLLL!!!!...we gotta get outta the house! Get outta the house!!!!"
 
It sees me, falls off the screen onto the rack topped with cookies, the entire rack falls to the floor. I ran back into the living room, the doorbell's ringing, I scream down the stairwell to Sean to get back into the apartment. Elzilla takes a peek, sees the squirrel, and runs. Jen's goes down the stairs and lets them in. John, Sean come running into the kitchen, the squirrel's jumping five feet in the air trying to find an alternative route...sorry bud, the only way out is the way you came in...sorta.
 
Every time I caught a glimpse of the squirrel I let out a resounding scream. I saw it run into a bedroom, back into the kitchen, through the living room. I bolted into the front porch, El follows. Next thing I know, the squirrel's in the library, adjacent to the front porch.
 
The boys are chasing it, it hides behind a wire book shelf. Next thing I know.
 
"ELEANOR, THEY JUST OPENED THE WINDOW, IT'S GONNA COME INSIDE HERE!"
 
She asks him what he plans to do. John tells us to get the hell out of the room so they could trap it in the front porch. I take a deep breath, make sure the squirrel's still cornered, open the door and run like hell. Squirrel finally jumps into the front porch, Sean, who's six feet tall and carrying the very white bowl I made my cookie dough in keeps trying to cover the squirrel with the bowl (it looked really funny). He finally was able to cover it, how he did that, I have no clue...the thing was probably tired and shell shocked from all the screaming. John manuevered a piece of cardboard beneath the bowl and carried the squirrel to safety.
 
We take a peek at the damage. Cookies all over the floor in the pantry, a hole in the screen. Cookie remnants are smeared on the ragged edges of the torn screen.
 
That was my Saturday, how was yours?